I have Uncrustables in my freezer. Yes, ma’am, I tell no lie. Uncrustables in your freezer means that you have attained to the great feat of crossing over to The Other Side. For any of you ignorant folk who do not know about the beauty of Uncrustables, let me introduce you.
They come in a box, found in the freezer aisle of any self-respecting supermarket. The box contains 4 individually wrapped gourmet peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and get this — without crusts!
They are highly nutritious. No cholesterol!
The crusts aren’t crudely chopped off, oh no, they are shaped into a beautiful round with scalloped edges.
We proudly assimilate.